Bangkok and beyond

We arrive in Bangkok, prepared for the madness that I have experienced once, and Greg has heard about. But at 12am it is a deserted city, at least it is anywhere other than khaosan I imagine. Our guesthouse recommended by no less than my mum via a well travelled friend turned out to be a cute little place in a back road near Thewes pier, 20mins hot stroll to khaosan road. One thing that did hit us was the 31 degree heat at 12am! Turns out we chose the hottest 3 months to start our travels round Asia, oh well I'm not going to be English and start complaining.  The next day it took all of 15 minutes from leaving the hotel for us to be scammed by some friendly Thai man seemly just offering to point out some must see sights on a map. "Oh you are very lucky to be in Bangkok today, it is budda day and government has made all these sights free entry and tuktuk only 20 baht (45p) all day!"  Stupidly enough we didn't check if the sights he was suggesting were in the guidebook, but I was also wise enough to think he was talking crap. So we passed up the tuk tuk that had conveniently just pulled up next to us. However we did try walking to the first sight he had pointed out on the map, and after 15 mins hot frustration at not being able to find it, another tuk tuk pulled up and repeated the same story. This time we jumped in.  That first day in a very different land any budda and ornate temple was worth a photo although they weren't particularly impressive. And we did agree to look round a jewelry shop and tailors so he got his commission petrol coupon. It wasn't until we arrived back at the hotel 4 hours later I realised the 'free' temples we'd visited were nothing more than the equivalent of a regular church, hence being free. However we'd parted with no more than 20 baht, and had had a fun 4hour ride round part of the city. It was no great loss, but I did feel annoyed. Especially as I'd been to Bangkok before and seen all the big palaces and buddas so should have realised!  Floating along the river the next day on a water taxi was a welcome break from the stifling streets. And with our wiser learnings from people trying to scam us we made it to the impressive giant reclining budda no problem. We decided that would be our budda fix for the trip. After all once you've seen 1 you've seen them all.  After a quick window shop in one of Bangkok's huge shopping malls, a visit to the Vietnamese embassy to sort out visas and a fill of gorgeous spring rolls (my aim is to eat them everyday while we are here) and Thai curries we headed out of Bangkok to old Siam. Old Siam, now known as Ayatthya was hot and dusty. The main town was nondescript but it is surrounded by canals, so we took a evening boat trip around the city to see some of the old temples. World heritage sights they may be but they don't seem to mind you climbing the crumbling temples to look inside. It was pretty amazing when we did, there were dusty smelly bat infested tombs with their original wall murals which gave you shivers despite the intense heat inside. After our Indiana Jones style exploration the view of the ancient burmese style towers from back on the boat at sunset were mystical. To be honest there wasn't a lot else spectacular about Ayuatthya so later the next day we boarded a night bus to take us to Chiang Mai, after so many friends saying they loved this  place we were really excited.  Sleeping wasn't easy especially as the bus was full of disgusting sweaty travellers but once we'd arrived at 7am we were too excited to go back to bed plus we were too early to check in so we decided to take a look round town.  Chaing Mai old town is a 1.5 km square surrounded by moats, the old gates still remain. At 7am it was a mildish (for Thailand) 30 degrees. Walking round town at this time was really pleasant , with less traffic on the roads and the sight of monks in bright orange wraps picking up their daily alms. We found an amazing little garden cafe tucked in the lanes of the old town with the best pancakes, sorry I can't do chicken curry for breakfast.  By this point we really wanted a night out. Trouble is when your in a couple other people aren't as inclined to talk to you, thinking you would want it to be just us 2. Well I know it wont insult Greg to say sometimes you just want to chat to someone new. I mean after 7 months of 24hr a day travelling together we don't have anything new to talk about!  Believe it or not, Greg and I are both quite shy when it comes to making the first move with potential drinking buddy's. So we had to come up with something a little more contrived if we were going to have any hope of meeting anyone. So that evening after dinner and a few drinks we went on a hunt for suitable people. I mean it's not like there's loads of suitable people about in Thailand, they tend to fall into certain stereotypes which don't appeal: 1. Old western men sat in seedy bars playing connect four with a gaggle of Thai women (in Chaing Mai at least we didn't seen any old men with really young girls bit I expect we have that to come).  2. Annoying Americans who talk really loudly and arrogantly about shit 3. Young groups of  western girls and/or boys whom we have nothing in common, are really annoying and they probably think we're old and boring 4. Sanctimonious hippies with smelly dreadlocks  5. Young men in their 20's/30's who have Thai partners, I feel bad about this lot as they may have found their girlfriend in a pub in Clapham, but everyone wonders if they bought them on the Internet So as you can see, people who'd be fun to hang out with are limited.  We ended up talking to a German couple who we'd 'conveniently' asked to play doubles in pool. After a few beers they look us to a rooftop bar which was really cool, lit by coloured lanterns and with low tables and cushions on the floor. But it closed at 2am and as usual by this time Greg and I were on a roll and didn't want to end the night. We ended up bundling into a tuktuk with a load of other stragglers and driving out of town to a Thai nightclub. It was pretty mental, we were literally the only westerners there. Greg became a minor celebrity with a group of lads who kept asking him over and over "Man U or Chelsea?" Everytime he replied they would cheer and giggle. I love spontaneous nights like that, despite the slightly contrived friend making! After 10 days in thailand i found myself day dreaming and night dreaming about food. We found a clean and tasty street food stall which did stir-fries with rice for 35bhat which is 70p. We alternated between eating here or blue diamond, our favorite little garden restaurant with immense spring rolls. We were already realising that losing weight while in Asia was an impossibility. It's basically like having your favorite Thai take away every day. You can eat healthier, but with amazing coconut curries and fried rice and noodles it would be a disappointment to choose anything else. I found my days revolving around what to have for dinner. There are plenty of tourist traps in Chiang Mai and the rest of Thailand that revolve around the mistreatment of animals. Obviously the tourists are mostly none the wiser and ignorantly think monkeys in dresses, elephants painting or playing football or even zoos that allow you to cuddle adolescent tigers are harmless. They think it's amazing to be entertained by animals who don't seem to be affected or maltreated, and hey, at least they're away from poachers.  Well... Not claiming we're saints or get everything right but we did make the realization that wild animals, in particular elephants can't enjoy this. And seeing as they don't use their fine art or football skills in the wild, there must be some sort of strict training involved to get them to do these tricks. We decided to partake in some ecotourism and 'volunteer' for a week at Elephant Nature Park near Chiang Mai. You'll see what I mean when I say 'volunteer', as it was quite different to our week in the animal refuge in Bolivia. So tune in next time, if you dare, and find out what really goes on to these animals to make them do things to entertain us, whilst making someone else a lot of money. It ain't pretty, but you really need to know.