Mini Russia

We stepped off the bus with our fingers crossed hoping for something better than Dalat, as this was going to be where we were to spend Greg's birthday. And it didn't disappoint. The next few days consisted of pool/drinking and spending all day in bed, with a lot of laughing at Russians in between. Mui Ne was basically a 10k long strip of beach which was mainly eroded at the cheap end, fronted by hotels and resorts and a parallel road of bars, shops and  restaurants. We found the standard of accommodation in Vietnam excellent value for money compared to other areas of Asia, and here in Mui Ne we found another excellent a/c bungalow with pool for £10 a night.  Unfortunately the weather was hit and miss, so we hired bikes to take in the 10k strip and in doing so picked out the best and cheapest places to eat. We found an amazing kebab shop with £1 stuffed chicken, humus and salad pittas, and as it was Gregs birthday choice we ended up there for his birthday dinner and breakfast the next day.  By no means a party resort, there were a total of 5 bars in Mui Ne, and we're mostly talking ramshackle places at that, the couple of smarter places seemed to be for old French ex pats. On the Saturday before Gregs birthday we decided to have a bit of a night out. I can't imagine this place ever being really busy, but on venturing out about 7pm we couldn't find anyone, so we settled on 'DJ station' a mostly outdoor bar which consisted of a overexposed  pool table, a playlist and some comfy if mouldy sofas. It's so humid I can see why they don't bother trying too hard with the decor.  After sinking a couple of bottles of wine (the only half decent thing about Dalat), and losing many a game of pool, it started to fill up a bit. But mainly with weird Russian ladies who made for great entertainment. One in particular must have been in her mid 30's, she had straw like bleach blonde hair which she had sort of backcombed to give the impression of sex/bed head. She was sporting a baggy cow/zebra/snake print catsuit, which had tapered legs making them look like clown pants. Not only the attire but the worst dancing I have ever seen in my life. What was worse was that she obviously thought she was pretty good and was therefore giving it everything. The only way I can describe it is a sort of David Brent/ matrix kick/ karate kid style that I have never before witnessed. There were lots of other costumes to admire from the Russian crowd so we spent the evening commenting on this until a pretty good soft rock cover band came on, by which point even Greg had a little dance.  We followed the same pattern on Gregs birthday, unfortunately it was less busy and there was no band, but we did meet 3 18yr old English lads John, Charlie, Harry and later Will who respectfully put up with us drunkenly giving them advice about how to tackle uni and getting jobs. But we had a great night chatting to them, and although it made me feel old, it also gave me hope that despite turning 30, 18yr olds didn't find us too boring to talk to, and I found them really interesting. They are certainly more mature, wise and worldly than I was at 18. Being bossy, as tends to happen to me after a few drinks, I declared that we must go and find them some girls to chat up. Unfortunately I hadn't realised it was 2am and after piling into a taxi we drove around the other 4 bars in town to find them all closed and ended up back in the same bar a few quid worse off, with some now pretty drunk horrendous Russians.  After sleeping off an all day hangover we decided to go for a game of mini golf as a birthday treat. It was advertised as day and night mini golf, which was fine apart from most of the holes were pitch black, and we had to contend with dodging huge beige cicadas dropping out the sky like bombs. Not to mention retrieving our balls from a dark slimy hole 18 times.  We really enjoyed our time in Mui Ne, but it was time to move on to the infamous Siagon, aka Ho Chi Minh City.  I was expecting a more hectic and smoggy Hanoi, and yes I have never seen more mopeds in one place, or more feared getting run over in my life. But it had a nice feel about it. We stayed in the cheap backpacker area but we walked a great deal of the main city which contained some very cool French style architecture, world class shops and hotels, quaint antique shop filled streets and some nice park areas. All mingled with the inherent uniquely veitnamese culture of smells, pavement living, markets, and pointed hats.  Another plus point was the fresh draught pints of daily brewed beer at 17p a glass. We met up with our 18yr old friends again for vodka redbull buckets and Ring of Fire, and more all day hangovers, which in a city like Siagon means you can't leave the hotel for fear of being run over.  A real highlight of our time in Siagon was visiting the chu chi tunnels. We did this via the cheapest tour we could find, which surprisingly for us turned out to be brilliant. We had a cheeky tour guide, who told us his own war story on the way to the tunnels. He and his family were caught up in a napalm raid, in which he witnessed his mother die and was badly burnt himself. It was quite chilling to hear first hand a war tale from the side who as westerners we rarely hear from.   When we arrived we got shown a propaganda video about the war, and why the tunnels were built. Again it was so weird to hear them describe the Americans as the cruel and evil enemy, who slaughtered innocent Vietnamese people. It makes you realise that it's very hard to understand how it really was for both sides as this was pure propaganda as are the American Vietnam films.  There are over 250km of tunnels in this region of Vietnam, equipped with hospitals and weapon factories. Entrances to the tunnels are no bigger than an A4 page and the tunnels themselves have a width of about 50cm and a height of about 70cm. To accommodate the tourism of us chunky westerners the tunnels have been widened slightly, but despite this they are so clostrophbic, especially when someone is in front and behind you. It's also worse than caving as it's so hot and stuffy. I managed a few meters before ducking out at the first exit. They also showed us all the horrific booby traps the guerillas used. It's amazing how complex the tunnels are, and how it allowed them to infiltrate the US camps to use a sniper undetected, completely bewildering the Americans.  We couldn't pass up the chance to have a go at firing a rifle. Greg picked out an M16, the Americans weapon of choice. I thought it was going to really hurt my shoulder but it wasn't too bad actually. It was fun, and a hell of a lot cheaper than paying to go to a shooting range in the UK. When we got back to town we headed to the war remnants museum. It was a sobering experience, basically full of a very bias view again of the American crimes during the war. It consisted mainly of photos depicting dead or wounded Vietnamese at the hand of Americans. There were also many horrific images of deformed people who had been either directly or had inherited the affects of agent orange. It was so strange to see this other aspect and view of the war, after war films had portrayed the Americans as saviors toward the southern Vietnamese, and the Vietcong as ruthless killers. It leaves me confused as to the real story. It was also strange to see obvious Vietnam US vets walking round the exhibition, I would like to know what they're thinking.  After a month in Vietnam we were ready to move on, Greg especially was getting frustrated with the way they constantly try to get us to part with our money, and inflating rates because we're westerners. When you ask 'how much', you can see them adding on a % to try their luck. It's understandable, but bloody annoying. But apart from money issues, we really enjoyed the country, and it's feisty people. It was exactly how you'd imagine it to be but also managed to surprise us.